Quiet (and Still)

It's a tall order; A to B; it's a lark, a game

Do you suppose it's completely god-less?

Of course it is - I think

It seems so; endurance in enemies retreats

and long, white lines of enlightenment

You warned me they would be "missed"

Another prophecy, told long after its truth

Wayward and blowing across toilet seats

in old and barren nightclubs

It’s contrived

Choose what to lose; before it’s gone

Don't break it down into smaller thinking pieces

It needs to escalate; provoking wanted insanity

amongst wandering tree-less happy homes

Choose when to go; before you leave

Don't linger in unstable spaces too long

Nothing is here; it's all there

inside real life, dying astral epics*laugh

Seek out the trip; the one you want

there is no stage - just a hidden quiet

a silence - the moment before rapturous applause

Take a bow; show your achievement

it's the same as yesterday - throw a six everytime

you're still on A; the largest square; the biggest whore

A bargain, a short journey, a narrow slide

backwards - returning to a womb that no longer feeds you

[nor tolerates your crap - do you care?]

Throw another, fill your mind; toxic escape routes inside

and blissful dreams of sinking; lose it; you chose it well

Tilt your head for a stranger perspective

Throw it back for the want of your souls cry

all within a room

That looks just like so many others

~ SRWB 2010

I never asked ...

I never asked…

I’m back in my seat

Watching from distant luna-tic shores

If you ask for my location

It will be unbelievable at best

There are so many shades of blue

I cannot decipher one from another

Contact is eaten - in detriment or release?

The situation has come around

With shocking unexpectedness

That I should miss you

And that is much worse

Than the stressful boundaries

We created in the sand

I never asked …

I’m sitting cross-legged

As the demons battle upon midnight edges

If you ask why I’m leaving

It will be understandable at most

You placed me here; amongst electric

Amongst chaos, within cyan blindness

Inside Azure - muddied to Prussian hues

A coffee cup rests against my cheek

As the noise of the air around me

Becomes too obvious to my ears

I have abandoned the memories

Of prismatic reflection

in asphyxiated limbo

Resist restraint and my rattling position

Precarious - a calm surface

And somewhere inside

I am quite distressed

Which is unbearable

A non-penetrable waste

“I’m lyin … I am afraid”

My lies are shown in truth

unrealised and denied

I didn't know

Never thought to ask

I woke from my false, insipid dream

and realised my human-ness

I'mhurtsorry

I never asked

I never asked

I never asked

Will showing distress reveal my weakness?

Will you hate me for cracking

in uncommon situations?

What is this? Really?

No control group exists

to appease your mind

Just a wash of surgical sapphire

Released in love, of course

I never even asked

Maybe stupid questions

should remain unspoken (asked?)

Ego and [alter] are merged now

I never asked

I should ask

Do I need to let go?

*I've let go

~ SRWB 2010

Finlandia 2

I'll venture out 
Umbrella wild and inverted 
against relentless winds and a bitter frost 
I'll lose you in conversation (for the laugh) 
but I won't ever really lose you again 

I walk to meet you 
I walk with you 
your ghosts 
or maybe just the one: 
disguised as a demon, quite cleverly 
it's only give away, being the vapours of Hell's breath 
through the freezing night air 
Tatters cancelling a last shout; smoothed clean; naked; vulnerable 
In this presence I have no other choice 
Soothed in untoward decisions and filligree distractions 
I'd give anything for warm strawberry light (tease) 

You are justifying being a dick? 
I can only justify loving you 
It's easy 
Every last meaning, feeling, agonising question 
it's all got an answer 
a solution only I see (it seems) 
and loving you, carries no promise 
it just is


~ SRWB 2010

Finlandia 1

There's a song I love - somewhere

One that says it all

that will make me feel again

insiduous lifetime help is stalling

I'm falling

I fell

nothing, I reprimand myself when I say or think that

everything starts with nothing in the worst way

deciduous - .... what do leaves do?

die

fall

crash

burn

potassium deficit cramps my soul

it is a ..... I've said it too many times

a cricket bat is the next step

I'm too british to do baseball

it's old skool - not cool anymore

and I'm riding this (wave?) scene until it's done

skool is dead - find something new

bury the ghouls and walk a fresh grave

I'm in awe

I'll never write like you

that syllable that makes a soul dance

and find the atmosphere in which to grow and 

grow

stealing a flame isn't the game

but I wish... yeah

payday is coming

an illusive holiday

no date... no time

just be there

I'll wait

~ SRWB 2010

30 New Years

Broken anniversaries and besotted philosophy - forgotten death dates

Quotations, it's been said before - it'll suffice

Ashes; whiter than burning cold and time is,was once,once was, I knew all of the patterns

Clocked stares through windows with pagan labels and certification of every hope pinned

Mirrored often, night long and day hard, and groaning, incidental and wanting from a misplaced image and a half-assed song

Crushed colour in tile pigment is long gone - weaved reflections on a listed surface

Inhale the right way. There's pleasantry and facade in ambiguity and buried smells

Reminders in old sheds, blackened before they're even new or quickly forgotten amongst the wrinkles

I admitted my failings right there; went with them; lost all reason; fixed the bike again

so that it could continue its life of leaning against walls that could not exist without it

In my mind, I fixed it time and again, sprayed the metal and lost my sensibilites along with the sound of the engine

My cheek on the leather of the seat

He lost it to four wheels in the end. We'd have predicted just the two.

Smiling at a dancing madman doesn't encourage him half as much as shouting his demise

What would you think?

An interlude - a never beginning - a laughing screen; screaming insanity makes cash

and uses it to buy more; more madness in a cheap suit and a thick smile

Spiders on the wall, in cages I never entered, nor sat in for long

Endless wandering (in hopeless night?) - I let you down, didn't I?

Or would you laugh? Along with us and our flourescent drinks on sticky dancefloors

Maybe shake your head with a half-smile and a portent of what is to come and how it should be avoided, always

So tell me

Here is my right arm, my hand still attached and twitching

I'm handing it over

Payment for half an hour across a table

so you can tell us what the hell is going on

~ SRWB 2010