Honestly

I penned a letter to the universe
but her ashes remain at my feet
lost too; a breeze threatens
and then fades with the stench
of a fixed smile and domesticity
letting go is a challenge
as three swords pierce fresh hearts
displayed in vulnerable cases for lunch
look up, it's beautiful
when i do i remember kates sky
and the fact that there hasnt been a time when it wasnt like this
I'm waiting, not running
still here, not slipping away
but it seems that you're already a dot in the distance

and you'll never want or need anythingbodyplacewherehowway

I'm drawing my own conclusion, you leave me no other option

But you'll just leave me to think what I think; right?

after your heartbreaking past carried the title of my dinner, i flipped a bit
head space; full grace; if you stop trying it stops hurting, doesn't it?

I tried it but it's only my own fingers that bleed and scar eventually
i miss you but i did anyway

locked inside mostly - I could never reach ... you?
i took photos of lifeless bodies
for future paintings
hot/cold; life/death
it's a decision either way
limbo; is it? let me know 

I can't be here listening to the 'phonics all day

nor wondering whether you really care enough to come get me

I'm in for the long road

bad or good

are you?
i ran out of paper on a busy street
so it's here
for now

~ SRWB 2010

Post Anaesthesia

xpansive painting of futures vulgarity constructed

never the same; a game, a dodge, bring me out

angels exist as accidental patterns on the bottom of burnt pans

Sepia records agitated in grieving and ugly wanting lips

moving images flicked through jagged marks of mournful sinners

fucked akashic memories swirl downwards; gouged with blunt pencil

sharply onto tea-stained manuscripts that no one gives a fuck about any more

Idle - Idol - false green and silver gods and presumption ALWAYS in endless lies

foolish putrefaction; laughing, creased up with sore belly at your stupidity

Bellies - Belie, half-hearted cracks at unwanted star-filled skies - notice

No care. No realisation. No waking up. Stay awake in front of synthetic flames

in plastic fibres and forlorn temperatures, fry on one side gently, feel blue

passing a finish line brings your loss, I'm three quarters there already - strikes

counted insults and cherry pie comforts at armchair lengths inside wanting depths

An invasion, screaming forks on china plates and white TV snow that hypnotises

Anger is quiet - that train has gone - boredom is home for the holidays in a Rolls

Visions of writing on walls drip silently through dreams of ancient labyrinths

Unicorn shit style, love is not a drug, nor a necessity - its like beer in an eternally  empty fridge

Books on cleaned shelves shift uneasily to be read and absorbed; collateral

cholesterol; blood worn veins and artery spurts damage the flow of every fucked up day

it's lists; it's listed - always list worthy - written down with no purpose of an underscored priority

flowers - suspicious. Suspicion in roses always and ideas of great times and harsh sex

thrown in with un-argued screaming matches and silent punches

never caught in time, positioned well through glass doors and ceilings

smoothing air bubbles from safety film - keeping busy - fuck off

Coffee ... 

~ SRWB 2010

No batteries required

stars are lonely creatures

light is a centuries old illusion

it might not still be shinin'

just ... residual

Poets are lonely creatures

words are a centuries old illusion

I might not still be writin'

just ... upset

SRWB 2010

Quiet (and Still)

It's a tall order; A to B; it's a lark, a game

Do you suppose it's completely god-less?

Of course it is - I think

It seems so; endurance in enemies retreats

and long, white lines of enlightenment

You warned me they would be "missed"

Another prophecy, told long after its truth

Wayward and blowing across toilet seats

in old and barren nightclubs

It’s contrived

Choose what to lose; before it’s gone

Don't break it down into smaller thinking pieces

It needs to escalate; provoking wanted insanity

amongst wandering tree-less happy homes

Choose when to go; before you leave

Don't linger in unstable spaces too long

Nothing is here; it's all there

inside real life, dying astral epics*laugh

Seek out the trip; the one you want

there is no stage - just a hidden quiet

a silence - the moment before rapturous applause

Take a bow; show your achievement

it's the same as yesterday - throw a six everytime

you're still on A; the largest square; the biggest whore

A bargain, a short journey, a narrow slide

backwards - returning to a womb that no longer feeds you

[nor tolerates your crap - do you care?]

Throw another, fill your mind; toxic escape routes inside

and blissful dreams of sinking; lose it; you chose it well

Tilt your head for a stranger perspective

Throw it back for the want of your souls cry

all within a room

That looks just like so many others

~ SRWB 2010

I never asked ...

I never asked…

I’m back in my seat

Watching from distant luna-tic shores

If you ask for my location

It will be unbelievable at best

There are so many shades of blue

I cannot decipher one from another

Contact is eaten - in detriment or release?

The situation has come around

With shocking unexpectedness

That I should miss you

And that is much worse

Than the stressful boundaries

We created in the sand

I never asked …

I’m sitting cross-legged

As the demons battle upon midnight edges

If you ask why I’m leaving

It will be understandable at most

You placed me here; amongst electric

Amongst chaos, within cyan blindness

Inside Azure - muddied to Prussian hues

A coffee cup rests against my cheek

As the noise of the air around me

Becomes too obvious to my ears

I have abandoned the memories

Of prismatic reflection

in asphyxiated limbo

Resist restraint and my rattling position

Precarious - a calm surface

And somewhere inside

I am quite distressed

Which is unbearable

A non-penetrable waste

“I’m lyin … I am afraid”

My lies are shown in truth

unrealised and denied

I didn't know

Never thought to ask

I woke from my false, insipid dream

and realised my human-ness

I'mhurtsorry

I never asked

I never asked

I never asked

Will showing distress reveal my weakness?

Will you hate me for cracking

in uncommon situations?

What is this? Really?

No control group exists

to appease your mind

Just a wash of surgical sapphire

Released in love, of course

I never even asked

Maybe stupid questions

should remain unspoken (asked?)

Ego and [alter] are merged now

I never asked

I should ask

Do I need to let go?

*I've let go

~ SRWB 2010