Must Try Harder (and fail again)

I ponder through threads of absent times
Feel my failure burn and leave it's mark
Puckered trails of tournaments lost
It is not in the winning; taking part?
I tried and I stumbled.

FAIL - verb
to be unsuccessful
Founder, deteriorate, blunder, let down

Not strong enough to prevent the fall
A train on it's track, rumbling and rambling
on and on
and ON...
I plunge myself into the proper way
yet these feelings run free
and in counting the rhythm I cringe
and abandoned my efforts.

I saw this coming; head first
A crack in the earth I couldn't outrun
Turf splitting and swallowing it's prize
It seems a little off-the-wall
That I might not want to see, nor glimpse
A warning; a knowing - a calm surface
and it all ends as I have followed
Never a smooth recipe
Turning my back again as I...
... blend, rinse, repeat
- and agitate.

Dancing in indian cotton and gauze
Makes me think of Little Wing
and Hendrix lulling our paths to sleep
Greener times beneath our naked feet
Soft and unwavering with comfort
The stabbing of blades in grass ignored
amongst swaying beads and willow trees.

As the water falls back; to furnish
and swell it's scarred bed, in relief
I have a distant memory, so faint
of the disturbance below
I am survived and sustained
a long time, unscathed.

Yet there are small reflections
of distracted light behind, and beneath
If I could seize them; make them stay
I would explore their virtue
This downfall is of my own fashion
Styling overhead and all around
Stunned into silence with questions
Finally and inevitably
Prevention is not always a cure
for  endurance.



~ Copyright Charlotte Sometimes aka SRWB 2010