Effort

It is too much effort
to work through this,
An endless maze of questions
and pain.
Wanted for the right reasons
by the wrong people.
I am not so bold
nor so broken.
My needs are too specific now -
Too finely tuned.
I fit neither here, not there
My fear keeps me from "there"
Wanting is not enough
So I shall stay quiet a while
and watch
persuasively at times
but with silence.
And what of my needs?
Like a well-trained masseuse
You cannot remove your hand from me
Put distance between us and I will remember
and turn to crumbled stone
It is not simply a case of helplessness
My fear is born from distance
and disapproval.
Look at my eyes, seriously
and tell me what you see.

Copyright Charlotte Sometimes (SRWB) 2008