Vapid

In having you (and you)
I find no contentment
only a nerves edge
and constant thought
problem solving a guarantee
Every day, every hour
I can't have you
and in questioning
the emotional process
it is very shallow
and tepid; almost cool
Too cool, no reality shows
That was the problem
It wasn't real
Cardboard cut-out and
uniform actions
Gave me nothing to bite into
Empty, vapid spaces swirling
instead of substance and heat
But when I look back
It was never there
Anyone can talk shit
when steeped in cheap vodka
And I think that you thought
that my "amazingness"
would carry us both
but it didn't
and it can't

~ Charlotte Sometimes (SRWB) 2008