Lump

In looking into this guilded frame
I am pushed away
Distraction comes to mind
and I'm on a different track
The list of things I can do is endless
and I do them all with haste
no thought... and I can't be me
because you are inside all the time
... your tears and your despair
my fault... what am I going to find?
What will remain after I take this time?
selfish and unthinking ..I can't breathe out
Thinking would require that I enjoy myself
and live ... but your unkempt nails claw and clutch
again and again and I push this image away
The one I know I will see in reality soon
It's a matter of time
Until I find that wax stare
and the final pose that is so very you
and if I didn't really have fun
Then my guilt will be less
Because there will come a time
When you will threaten me
at times when I'm trying to find something
for myself... and I truly will
just walk away
and the lump inside me
will be forgotten ...
but not my guilt

~ Copyright Charlotte Sometimes (SRWB) 2008