THE INVISIBLE WOUND

The darkness quickly transforms to glaring white. Fluid, muscle and brute force ease my passage into this world. Something pulls roughly at my soft, pliable limbs and I swing violently away from the cocoon that harboured my warmth. I can make out the grey shapes of a scrutinising gaze just before I feel the harsh slap on my buttocks. Still keeping my monochrome vision hidden from the glare behind newly formed lash-less eyelids, I scream as the cold air fills my soul's new form. It pours into me as if to fill a vacuum, long empty and unfulfilled. There is a place where it touches that feels different to everywhere else; a place in the middle of me, just underneath my fragile, eggshell ribcage, that pulses and feels the chill just that little bit more. A whirling vortex of yesteryear that has carried me over to this point and into this place.

And so, I am born with an invisible wound already in place. I know from that first instant exactly what it is and how it came to be. However, time and life will squash those memories soon and I will live in ignorance, just knowing that something inside me hurts a little more than it should. I crawl forward from this with the knowledge that every time I feel that pain; I will search for the answer to its origin.

I begin my life in a half-haze of wondering and as the years go by, I retain this state. My vision becomes clear, a useful sense in a practical world, yet the haze remains behind the scenes. Soon the haze starts to creep into my senses, making my eyes fail, little by little, until all they become are ornaments, placed carefully upon a pleasant face. I look to the modern world of miracle workers to correct this sad affliction, which worsens day by day.

I win the race for a little while, clarity comes back in glorious technicolor, but still the fog swirls and gathers behind my medically enhanced optic wonders. It persists, pushes and forces my vision back to the haze of my first minutes and I am reborn in darkness again and again and again.

Somewhere, somehow, in another place and another life, my knowledge remains firmly in my conscious mind and I am born as I once was and should be.

AlwaysDefyance, always darkness.



SRWB 2010