STARCH

How many times can I write of a madness possessed only in wishes;
Is it yours? Do you want it?
I will watch you change from angry charlatan to vacant soul
or I can watch you die; tumbling,
freely and consentingly, into an Abyss
from which there is no return (and no reprieve)
It's not Brownies and Milk time; our stomachs are full
Pumped rigid with a starchy sweetness to block out the pain
Others clutch at nausea as they turn away to conceal their disease
They are bored and sick; (synonyms for "helpless and lost")
One session in the chair too many; overkill of comfort
With a dig at tender dirt to test for widespread frost
Are you empty? Or just frightened?
Facing a wall of truth, that hurts when poked, is complex
It drains strength, like rice, in a colander made for bigger things
Emptiness is never the vacuum it appears to be
It's a rest-stop, a time to lean against something concrete
Or maybe you are bent double, hands on knees
Gasping for air, as the build up of lactic acid burns through your soul
"All Cried Out" is just another name fornumband indenial
Curling up against softness and warmth like a child is tempting
Protected from the core of systemic infection
ever-simmering beneath the trivial stresses that weep
The fact that I don't even want to write about this shit anymore
tells me that I am hiding too; the warm, golden sand is beneath my feet
I am yearning for the warmth reflected in pools abandoned on the shore
by the calming ocean of a mothers breast
a comforting arm
a distraction
a haven
a secret place of illusion
and lies
and sleep
Battle-tired and loved
is what I am
for now




~ SRWB 2010